Aries: I’m better than all of you assholes
Taurus: I could eat some cake right now.
Gemini: I’m going to pretend I care about what you just said
Cancer: I need hugs and cookies.
Leo: Fuck u bitch I’m fabulous, bow down to me.
Virgo: You’re all uncultered swines.
Libra: Stop war hug more
Scorpio: I tired of your bullshit, I just wanna sleep
Sagittarius: I wanna fuck your girlfriend
Capricorn: Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
Aquarius: I’m hot and gay.
Pisces: Fuck my life.
If the signs were mythological creatures:
A while back my sister was dating this guy. They were not good for each other in the relationship sense. They will make fine friends though. I was reading their charts out loud. My sister is a Capricorn, he is a Cancer. Capricorns like space and room to move. Cancer’s much like their crab counterpart latch on and don’t need space. He said, as I read “We aren’t compatible are we?” At his point I was trying to convince my sister to break up with him already and she respond with “No, not really.” They have since then broken up.
He is a quintessential Cancer and this situation really represented that. Even after having his chart and my sister’s read out loud to him, he didn’t break up with her, he waited until she broke up with him.
Today was a good lesson in how wrong this can be. I was talking with a new friend and she was explaining how much she loves travel. I asked her if she was Sagittarius, she’s not she’s Scorpio. Apparently her sister who is a homebody is Sagittarius though. The sun sign isn’t infallible so I’d have to see their whole charts to see what may be changing such quintessential traits, for now though I’ll let the mystery sit.
My sister an I spent a good hour or so talking about astrology and how little the sun sign Virgo fits me. I have barely any of the traits. I’m a cusp baby so I have always made it clear that I am not just a Virgo but also a Leo. I’ve pulled up several charts in the last couple weeks and they all put me my sun sign in Virgo. We came up with a crack pot theory that since I tried to be born a month before I actually was that that was my true sign. All the other things that changed because of that don’t feel right. So a final decision hasn’t been made about why my sun sign fits me so little.
I’ve been convinced for a while that my accounting boss has to have some Virgo in her sign. Today it came up in conversation signs and she said she was Gemini. I was able to get her to give me her birth info and pulled up her whole chart on the app. Looking it over she was mostly water signs and had no fire, which is maybe the most surprising part of her chart. On the plus side mars is in Virgo! I’m happy that I was able to learn that it meant I was right. I told her that mars was how she dealt with conflict so she read it over and started laughing because of how accurate it is.
It looks like the rotten work book has good information about what the planets mean and breaks down how to deal with certain coworkers based on their sun signs. That is something I’m going to enjoy learning as there is a ton of need for dealing with coworkers with my job.
Today I looked into what the main character of my book is. She’s a Pisces. When we first started writing the book her birthday was in early August, after writing the book through we realized that that didn’t work for our time line and moved her birthday to late February. Pisces is much more fitting to the main character of this book she wasn’t a true Leo. I love that her character was not written to be specifically any sign and that we had to change her birthday and now it works.
The other night I was hanging out with some friends. One of them is a talkative smart alack a lot of the time he amuses me, but sometimes he is just talking to listen to himself. I thought, “maybe he’s an Aries with their me-me attitude” and I asked him what his birthday was. I was dead on. He’s March 22. I was proud of myself for guessing that. He is the first person I’ve been able to guess. Well he’s also the first I’ve really tried to guess other than one of my co-workers.
This co-worker reminds me of my mom. I thought “She’s got to be a virgo, or have some in her sign, because she’s so like mom it’s scary.” I already knew she was several years older than my mom. I asked her for her birthday and she said September 2nd, which is the same day as my mom! I don’t know the exact year she was born, so I can’t figure out her whole chart. Just knowing that she’s a Virgo though makes me proud of myself for guessing that right too. I know most of my friend’s birthday’s but I don’t have the chart memorized for the dates of all of the signs. I am getting better at that though.